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Time Flies!

I have a vivid memory of my mom saying to me when she was the age I am now, “as you get older, time goes by so much faster.”  So true.

My parents, sadly, both passed away within the past three years, my husband’s mother passed away last year and a colleague, Laurie Goff, passed away close to two years ago.  I think of them every day and I miss them.

Personally and professionally, I know that loss is a part of all of our lives.  We experience loss as the seasons pass.  We experience loss of our youth, as we age.  We experience loss of the people we love, either through death or through disconnection or separation.  Impermanence is the term I think of when thinking of loss.  Everything is impermanent.  Everything changes.  All the time.  This is a difficult truth to wrap your mind and heart around, especially when you desire to have those you love, forever in your life.   And so, we try to work toward acceptance of this very truth and to learn to “let go” with love.  

Another expression my mom used to say was this:  “you can’t put old heads on young shoulders.”  In other words, wisdom comes with maturing.  I didn’t say, wisdom comes with aging, because I’m not entirely sure that chronological age has anything to do with wisdom.  I know some young people who are unusually wise and I know some older people who are not. 

What I would say, however, is that if I could impart some sage advice, it would be to take care of your relationships with those you care about and love.  Notice I did not say “value your relationships,” although that is true also.  The reason I said “take care” of your relationships, is because “taking care of” is an active process.   Valuing a relationship is a statement of how you think and feel about a relationship with another.  Both valuing a relationship and taking care of it is a beautiful thing.  This is what will sustain a relationship long term if both people are doing this.  We can say we value a relationship with someone, but if we neglect it or are sloppy with it, this will lead disharmony.  “I value you” or “I love you” are mere words then.  We need to commit to nurturing the relationship.  There will, for sure, be times of rupture in the relationship, and so, repairing the rupture becomes critical.  Learning how to repair a rupture that we have created means we need to self-confront and that takes courage and humility. 

Be curious.  Have fun.

Barbara