Articles

Fearlessness is Not a Tiger or a Bear

Fearlessness is not like a wild tiger or brown bear that is locked up in a cage and growls every time you open the door.  Fearlessness is powerful, but it also contains gentleness and constant loneliness and sadness.

Wisdom and consideration for others are also part of fearlessness.  When you are more fearless, you become more available and kinder to others, more considerate and more touched by others. 

-- This is an excerpt from a book entitled:

Smile at Fear:  Awakening the True Heart of Bravery by Chogyam Trungpa

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Setting boundaries with others in relationships

The above excerpt makes a distinction between us “growling” in order to be fearless and being fearless through the use of wisdom and consideration for others.  Sometimes, particularly when we need to set boundaries with others, we may need to stand our ground through louder, more aggressive means, but there are other times when a more firm, considerate approach is just as fearless.  What often happens when we are learning to set boundaries, and we are fearful to do so, is that we ‘swing the pendulum’ to the growl setting.  We become harsh and loud and disrespect the other person’s boundaries.  There is an entire middle ground in which we can learn to firmly state our opinions/thoughts/ feelings without growling.  We can easily confuse fearlessness with shouting, screaming, name-calling, criticizing, and patronizing behaviors