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Critique of a Globe & Mail Article -- August 20, 2016Aug 20, 2016The Lost boys: Video games more fun than growing up (Title of an article by Margaret Wente in August 20, 2016 Globe & Mail, Opinion Section, page F7)
I have been wanting to write this article for a long time and became motivated and inspired today after reading the following article in today’s Globe & Mail, (Saturday, August 20, 2016– an article written by columnist Margaret Wente in the Opinion section, page F7. When I regularly hear of young men who are “basement dwellers,” those who habitually live in the basement, playing video games and who don’t see sunlight, I feel sad and worried for a generation of “lost boys,” – a term used by Wente in this Globe & Mail article. Before reading my article any further, please read Wente’s article first. Okay, now that you have….let’s chat. What is perplexing to me is HOW did this happen? How did boys and young men internalize the belief that their time on this planet is about doing something that is ONLY for them? Only about their narcissistic happiness. “Guys just don’t want to put in the work,” Wente says. Further she says, ‘Happiness surveys actually indicate that they [young men] are quite content compared to their peers, making it hard to argue that some sort of constraint, like they are miserable because they can’t find a job, is causing them to play video games.’ “In other words, they’re addicted to video games not because they’re out of work, but because playing video games is more fun than working.” (Wente). “That’s why the disappearance of rigid role models and social expectations has hit young men much harder than it has young women. The problem of disconnected men is a big one—much bigger than the so-called problem of equality for women – and it’s not going away any time soon.” This is very bleak news. To be sure, not all young men have chosen to develop this habit. But, I have to say that I have listened to a fair share of parents who are worried sick about their young adult son living at home doing exactly the same thing that Wente has described. These parents are scared, worried, depressed, and feel hopeless about being able to influence their son in a positive direction. These parents spend countless hours contorting themselves into pretzels thinking about how they (the parents) can change their behavior so they can motivate their son. Trying to find a solution to figure out a way to get their sons out of their basements causes these same parents countless hour of sleepless nights, loss of time at work due to therapy appointments, doctors’ appointments and stress-related illnesses. Somewhere along the way, what these young men did not internalize is the belief that THEY ARE NEEDED. They are needed to contribute to their families in positive ways. They are needed to contribute to their neighborhood in positive ways. They are needed to contribute to their communities in positive ways. I suspect these young men aren’t even to blame. I will reserve my explanation for why I believe this to be so. Regardless, I can think of many young adult men who have much to offer the larger world, other than just feed their own need to be happy at the expense of being of service to others. I firmly believe that at the root of this behavior is a nihilistic view of the world – life is without meaning, purpose, or any intrinsic value. If this is true, then how do these young men start thinking differently about their purpose in life…about what they value…..about what is meaningful in life to them? And how do we convince them that a worthy endeavor is to begin to think about these concepts? Maybe my idea is a simplified, reductionist perspective of how to go about this, but is it not about thinking about other people? Is it not about thinking about how I can serve other people? Is it not about thinking about how I can be of use to someone else? Is it not about how I can take care of the people I love and to assist in a community to which I can become engaged with? Is it not about how I can be there for other people in small and big ways? As long as these young men only think about how they can be happy and only think about what people can give them, they will not come out of the basement. I truly believe that when people cannot find purpose in their life, they need to know they are needed. All one has to do is look around and there is always someone in need. I believe that these men to whom Margaret Wente refers have never been told that they are needed. And not only are they needed, but there is great value and purpose in being of service to other people.
Three Quotes Martin Luther King: “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘what are you doing for others?’” Dalai Lama: “Our prime purpose in life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” Dalai Lama: “We are visitors on this planet. We are here for one hundred years at the very most. During that period we must try to do something good, something useful, with our lives. If you contribute to other people's happiness, you will find the true meaning of life.”
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