Articles

Pain, Suffering, Loss, Adversity, Trauma

& the Need for Resilience

 

I am grateful that I am part of a profession that serves people.  The slogan of the University of Regina, where I graduated from the Faculty of Social Work in 1988 is this:  “as one who serves.”

In reflecting on my own upbringing, I believe I was raised to serve.  It is likely that this is the reason that I was drawn to become a therapist.  I vividly recall being in my early 20s thinking that people needed someone to listen to them.  This is indeed true and a therapist’s role involves much more than that.  When people come into therapy, they are experiencing pain. One of my tasks is to assist people in becoming resilient to the challenges we face in life.  We need to build resilience and strengthen our muscles to live a meaningful life and to build meaningful relationships.

In the face of whatever kind of adversity/trauma we encounter in life, we have potential to grow.  There is a term called post-traumatic growth -- out of adversity, we build strength and resilience.  The other term associated with trauma is pre-traumatic growth.  With this, we have the understanding that we will experience loss and adversity in our life, and therefore, being grateful for what we have in our life right now is part of our growth. 

For example, we have the ability to have an attitude of growth when faced with stressful situations, as opposed to feeling burdened.  We can say,

    “out of this stressful or difficult situation, I have an opportunity to grow by cultivating an attitude of gratefulness for having a mind that can think my way through a challenging situation.”

    “out of this stressful or difficult situation, I have an opportunity to become resilient by being grateful for the support of others around me.”

    “out of this stressful or difficult situation, I have an opportunity to become resilient by recognizing the universal truth of suffering – that is, ‘I am not the only one in the world suffering, there are others just like me.’ Through this awareness, I recognize our common humanity and resolve to honor my life by living with integrity.” 

    “out of this stressful or difficult situation, I have an opportunity to become resilient by resourcing myself to seek help, which not only helps myself, but also models for others a way through suffering.

    “out of this stressful or difficult situation, I have an opportunity to become resilient by being grateful for the many small things in my life.  It is within the daily minutiae of life where we find joy – even amidst our suffering.”

    “out of this stressful or difficult situation, I have an opportunity to cultivate resilience, by honoring my ancestors before me who struggled with their own suffering.   I can take pride in taking care of my own struggles in a healthy way, thereby modeling for my children how to handle life’s adversities.”

    “out of this stressful or difficult situation, I have an opportunity to cultivate resilience by learning how to take care of difficult emotions in a way that acknowledges my experience, while at the same time being aware that there are universal experiences we all share.”  This awareness helps us feel less isolated and more connected to the whole of humanity.

I believe that resilience is needed more than ever at this point in our history.  Collectively, we need to start taking care of ourselves, our families and our communities to strengthen our social structures and provide active support for one other. 

Barbara