Articles

The “Triple Threat” in Human Interactions

Mindfulness + Pause + Action

Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, founded the MBSR (Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction) Clinic at the University of Massachusetts Medical School in 1979 and he provides this definition of mindfulness:  mindfulness is the act of paying attention, moment by moment, on purpose, without judgment. 

Kabat-Zinn brought mindfulness practice to the western world initially for use in hospitals to assist people in learning to cope with chronic pain and life-threatening illness.  Since then, mindfulness practice has “caught on” and people all over the United States, Canada and many other parts of the world are practicing mindfulness in their daily lives.  Many people are now trained in MBSR and are teaching others what mindfulness practice is and how to utilize it. 

There are two significant reasons why mindfulness practice is important.

Firstly, being mindful (aware/present) means that you make a commitment to yourself to become aware and to have presence in the moment of: a) what is happening in your body, physically and emotionally and b) what is happening in your environment.  By becoming more intimate with our self, we can be in relationship with our self and with others in a conscious manner.  Without that level of consciousness, we cannot know our self.  If we are not aware of what is happening within our self, there is more chance of us making negative knee-jerk reactions with others, thus causing relationship damage.  By exploring what is happening both physiologically and emotionally when we start having an experience that is causing us distress, we have an opportunity to uncover what is going on for us before reacting to others.  This is the all-important sacred pause that will help us to behave in ways that are less reactive to others, and at the same time, allow us to disclose our thoughts and feelings in a respectful way.  This is the action part; that is, we can still take action when we want to be honest with someone, but when we have taken a pause, we are more likely to be in relationship with someone in a more integral way.  The one stumbling block here is if a person feels entitled to treat someone in a disrespectful way, either verbally or behaviorally.  Mindfulness, in this case, will not matter.

Secondly, mindfulness practice is important in that it allows us to slow down and in order to identify what our values are.   Being aware of what we value allows us to think through how we want to be in any given situation.  This is what constitutes personal integrity.  The third part of the triple threat is action.  Action can be in the form of personal action or social action.  If we get clear on what our values are, then we can choose to whom, what and where we put our energies. 

For example, if one of our values is patience, then we can become more mindful of this value on a daily basis and set intentions every day to be more patient.  If we value family and friends, then again, we become mindful of this value and work toward nurturing those relationships.  To say we value something and then not work toward cultivating that particular value is what often causes us anxiety, stress and unhappiness.  Below is a list, albeit not an exhaustive list, of values for reflection.

By C. Roberts, Fifth Dicsipline Fieldbook

This list is by no menas, exhaustive....add your own if they are missing!

Take the time to identify what your values are and bring presence to these values in your relationship with yourself and with others.

Stay open.  Be curious.  Have fun.

Barbara